crushcrushCrushed
by Sissor.Hands
Summary: [unrequited SoraxRiku]I'd rather waste my whole life pretending than forget about you for one whole minute. [Suicide]


Warnings: Angst, Language, Character Death and Suicide.  
Rating: Teen  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix or Paramore OR their song 'crushcrushcrush.'

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_ I noticed your eyes are always glued to me  
keeping them here  
and it makes no sense at all_

Since they'd come back from their two year adventure, Life on Destiny Islands hadn't been the same for Sora and Riku. While Sora was meeting new people and being congratulated for saving so many worlds, Riku had –and still was- living with the guilt that he had betrayed his best friends and gave in to the darkness and almost killed Sora, causing himself to distance away from his old friends. No matter what Sora and Kairi tried to do, Riku just pulled away from them and went off by himself. Instead he, spent his time alone, thinking –or moping, as Sora called it.

Over the course of the school year, Sora had become popular and had gained more friends, friends more like him and even started dating Kairi, while Riku became a loner and struggled with his feelings of love for Sora and knowing that Sora loved Kairi. Now that it was nearing Valentine's Day, Riku found it harder and harder to hide his feelings, especially when he saw Sora kissing Kairi one moment and then watching Riku with his ocean blue eyes that showed certain happiness in them. Riku felt confused and often lay awake at night, wondering whether he should tell the keyblader or if he should keep his mouth shut.

It didn't make any sense to Riku. Not at all.

_ That never happens  
i guess I'm dreaming again  
let's be more than this_

Every night, Sora was in his dreams. No matter what it was about, the other was in them. One night, Riku dreamed that Sora had taken his hand and the two joined the darkness together, fighting alongside each other and never stopping. Last night, his dream was that Sora had somehow found out about how Riku felt for him- He didn't know how, But Sora had met him by the Papou tree on their play island and Sora confessed that he loved Riku too. They had shared a kiss and Riku felt his heart jump and it was _**ohsosweet**_, just like he thought it would be and it felt like life couldn't get any better at that moment.

But the combined sound of a pounding on the door and the loud beeping of his alarm clock had jerked Riku out of his dreams and into reality with a cold, hard jerk. Sitting up in his bed, Riku stared out the window at the rising sun on the ocean and sighed, letting his heart sink again as he realized that it was just another dream, just like all of the others.

He had to tell Sora. He wanted them to be more than just acquaintances, more than strangers. He wanted them to be more than this.

_They taped over your mouth  
scribbled out the truth with their lies  
you little spies_

Riku couldn't tell Sora how he felt to his face, oh no. He didn't have the guts to tell, didn't even have the nerve to even_ talk_ to Sora since they grew apart. He didn't want to tell anybody to tell Sora his former best friend loved him, but he didn't want to put it in a note. It wouldn't give him the satisfaction he wanted and plus, it was wimpy- even for him.

So, on Valentine's Day, he told the one person he didn't talk to anymore, but still trusted with his life- Kairi. Her reaction had been one of surprise and shock but not disgust, which was good to Riku. With her to word to Riku that no one but Sora would find out a gentle smile, Kairi walked off and the former slave to the darkness felt some form of relief in him and thought that this would all turn out well, that he would get the happy ending that he was wishing for, _until Kairi and Selphie had twisted and blabbed Riku's confession to_ **everyone** and then Riku's life of quiet solitude and watching Sora watch with his unusually happy blue eyes and dreams had been ripped away from him and replaced with a darkness Riku had never faced before. A darkness in which Sora had _(supposedly) _ told everyone Riku was strange and that he hated the other and in which people laughed at and hurt and called Riku names. It hurt Riku to his cold, lonely heart.

After Riku had been beaten and almost raped in the boys' bathroom at school, He begged and got his parents to withdraw him from school. For good.

Now, Approximately one month after Valentine's Day, he stood at the top of a cliff, watching as the breeze made waves in the sea and the sun shone brightly overhead. Things had gotten bad, almost deadly, back at school. The entire school was at his throat because of Kairi and Selphie - _those lying, deceitful bitches_- and how they twisted everything around, his parents couldn't help him except take him out of school after pleading with them and worst of all, Sora hated him and hadn't been seen around school ever since the confession was spread. Everything was shambles and he couldn't fix what had been shattered, didn't want to live a life in the darkness anymore.

Sighing and whispering one last confession of love and an apology to Sora, Riku walked over the edge of the cliff and into the sharp rocks and cold water below, hearing somebody cry his name right before the business end of a rock met with his neck and the dark sea swallowed his broken body and dead heart.

_Sora ran towards his falling friend, screaming his name with a few –or more- tears being shed. Falling to his knees at the edge of the cliff, he saw a splash and felt more tears roll down his face. "Riku…" He whispered in a broken and shattered voice, looking at the ground and pounding his fist against it. Hearing something like paper flap in the wind, Sora's attention was brought to a tree with a piece of paper pinned to the bark. Automatically standing and walking a few shaky steps to the tree, Sora pulled off the note and opened it with trembling hands, tears splashing onto the paper as he read neat, familiar writing:_

**I'd rather waste my life pretending  
than have to forget you for one whole minute**

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Eh, Sad ending, don't know if it made sense. Oh well. 

Review, but be nice, please.


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